Without change…there will be stagnation and decay.
Without change…there will be stagnation and decay.
I thought that we’d be strong enough. I thought we could hold it out. But it feels like what we had was just a raincoat to cover both our asses from the rain and now that it’s sunny again what we had is a raincoat forsaken in the closet. And you know what the worst part is? It’s like we both keep walking past that same closet and never acknowledge the raincoat that we had. I was over hear tryin’ to catch me a wink of sleep but no. This had to come out, and it had to come out raw.
So you are going places now huh? There you are being the lucky one and happy pretending that nothing ever happened. I bet you think I’m doing the exact same thing then…just forgetting about you. Ha! Lord knows I should, hell… I know I need to. So what do I do now? Oh best believe those feelings where too strong for me to just let loose into the jungle like an overgrown pet python! I had to find something, a place. I needed to discover a little corner in my heart, a vault, to lock away these feelings than to have let all that emotional investment in our friendship go to waste. We are equally to blame. We let our fire burn to strong, too passionately and it burnt us both.
I’m sure all your experiences thus far have hoodwinked you into believing that you know a substantial amount. You know nothing…nothing about what goes on in my heart and my mind. And you can’t, will never understand the way I feel for you. So when I stay away from you, now you know why. Because I would rather clutch my piece of you tightly on my chest with both hands, than to have you put me in the bottom of your shoe and walk me right back into that damn closet!
Browsing my entire iTunes music library is a favourite pastime of mine. I was listening to “Underneath” by Adam Lambert and then I heard the lyrics. I always listen to music, but sometimes…I hear music. I heard this song loud and clear. It was so moving and I felt I connected to the lyrics, not to mention the outstanding vocals and sound. I decided to share the lyrics and a link to the track for those that haven’t heard it. Listen, and tell me what you think!
“Strip away the flesh and bone
Look beyond the lies you’ve known
Everybody wants to talk about a freak
No one wants to dig that deep” View Full Lyrics
I took this screen clip and I found it so mesmerizing I decided to share it with you!
I found thus moving. In a way I connected with it because of the sentiments about “social sites being like a double edged sword- bringing us together whilst showing just how further apart we actually are”. It made perfect sense to me. I have always been very touchy about who I call friends. I’m always very blunt on differentiating friends & acquaintances.
Tara and I hadn’t spoken for 16 years but when she friended me on Facebook in 2009, clicking “accept” was a no brainer. I messaged her immediately.
Tara was my next door neighbor in the dorms my freshman year of college. She liked Cat Stevens and the Violent Femmes. She smoked clove cigarettes out of her window and played the flute. She was 6 feet tall (or 5’12” as she liked to put it) and was asked so frequently about her height that she posted it on her nametag at a waitressing job because she got tired of people asking.
Tara had taken me to my first “Rocky Horror Picture Show” and taught me when to throw the bread. She introduced me to…
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Last Facebook Update: 29 November 2012.
Last Tweet: 29 November 2012
So this is where I stand. Right here. By myself. Yesterday I made what I considered to be something of a serious decision; to relinquish my “hold” on my social sites. I tried in earnest to employ some form of discretion in hopes that only those that truly paid attention to my updates…the more uh-perceptive- ones would take notice of.
Its an amusing thing nowadays how you can keep in-touch with people without actually seeing them. For some time now that’s all I’ve been doing. Unfortunately I seem to have set my expectations of people rather higher than was necessary. I have been holding myself back, trying not to shout it out to the world, but I deemed it easier to just walk away from the world. From people. From… myself. Yes myself. From who I have become. All I want in essence is to be true with people and in turn receive the same honesty. Honesty and loyalty. That was what I was lacking. There are people close to me that I know will be affected by my decision to turn away from the world. There are those that have, in essence, been honest and loyal to me yet I did not return the favour. So I need to have that solo conversation and re-evaluate what’s important to me. Imma need to go to the next blank page…and this is where the Scribbling of Solitude will begin.
"When in some remoter day men and women yet unborn, on occasions pass this way still our song shall greet the dawn!"-excerpt from Prince Edward School Song.
My time at the school would most certainly not have been called easy. at times I struggled and suffered stigmatization, yet through the undying loyalty of friends I rose from the ashes. By the time I was in A Level I had surprisingly risen through several ranks particularly in the cultural side of the school. The sun set fairly quickly on my time at Prince Edward; by the end of first term of my last year I had left. I have always appreciated the school’s strong tradition in music and i tried in earnest to be involved in music; I was perhaps not the most exceptional vocalist but so strong was my passion in the discipline I sang a duet with my friend entitled "Softly As I Leave". this song brought about such finality that only music alone can induce. Leaving was difficult but I realized i came to appreciate the school and its values when these were put to the test in the real world.
I will keep to my word, the promise I constantly renewed over my seven years at Prince Edward…To Keep The Torch Ablaze.
Now as I look upon my Newsfeed and Timeline, I see pictures of School leavers and I remember how the last day was the best day. Remember, its not about how you start, but its about how you finish! Good Luck
My birth in music goes as far back as my kindergarten years when my dad used to take us to school every day playing an assortment Michael Jackson albums . When we got home I would sit and watch a Video Cassette (they were quite trendy and modern then!) of Michael’s music videos. For the first time in my life I found inspiration; his dance moves, the magic in his videos…it was all so overwhelming for my young mind. From then I started believing in the extraordinary and creativity was born.
What was interesting was I found two different sides to music with my different parents. I learnt about big voices through artistes like Whitney Houston, Toni Braxton from my mother and about soul and pop music from Otis Redding and Michael. Yet back then I purely enjoyed the beat, rhythm and visual side of music. I wasn’t ready to listen to the words. Don’t get me wrong, I heard them, I just never listened to them.
Growing up I then discovered how some of the things I heard from artistes like Blue, Justin Timberlake and Luther Vandross, had a certain reference to some of the things I was going through. Then I listened and heard, thought admittedly not understanding. Discovering music was something of a force-matter because if you liked one song from an artist you’d have to buy the album to own the track. In that manner you would discover the artistes different music. This turned out to be an added bonus when video releases of the songs were put out; you would already have the song everyone was talking about.
I started noticing how my music genres were expanding. Joining the Junior choir seemed to have some effect on this. Then the point came when I discovered I was in love with music. I craved it. Then the era of the digital download began. The connection speeds with dial-up modems were (at least when I look at it now) unbelievably slow! I would sit up the whole night waiting to download three or four songs. That’s when I noticed I had something of an addiction. Services like LimeWire (file sharing service) helped in discovering new genres of music. Chamber music, Classical, Alternative, Choral, Rock and Soundtrack (my personal fav) I was getting my ears on everything I could.
Then I understood the words. Music ceased being an addiction, it became me. I was music. All other interests were eclipsed;gaming, gadgetry (GameBoys etc.), replaced by CD Players and MP3 Players. Soon the era of the Cell-phone was in fool swing and you could listen to your music on your phone! Since then it has only ever continued evolving.
Now I don’t just want to listen to music; to be music has to be a bit more than just listening to it. I want to make it, I want to discover it in others, I want to breathe it.
Spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
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